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News flash from 4/20/14, reprinted 4/5/15 and 4/12/20: 

Jerry Bowyer has the report from Jerusalem. It is in the very early edition of today’s paper.

Apparently that seditious rabble-rouser from Nazareth got his just due Friday past when the Sanhedrin and Roman government both agreed to address treason as treason ought be addressed.

The article’s first paragraph,

Jesus of Nazareth was executed today on the orders of the Roman State. Method of execution: Crucifixion. The charge under Roman law was treason, and under Herodian law blasphemy against the Temple. The evidence against this anarchist was so strong that authorities of both the Roman State and the Kingdom of Herod concurred with the arrest and execution, and he was subjected to trial by both governments. And in a rare uprising of spontaneous collective justice, the mass of people who were gathered for Passover called for his execution as well. The mob affirmed their loyalty to the state, chanting, “We have no king but Caesar.”

For the rest of the story, check out the full news report in Forbes: Jesus of Nazareth, Enemy Of The State, Executed For Treason.

After reading the full article, I’m sure you will agree with me that we shall never hear of his name again.

Hold on…

The paperboy is shouting something about an extra edition….Let me go get a copy of the paper to see what happened since sunrise.

I’m confident there are perfectly logical reasons for those grossly exaggerated stories a few months back that followers of this discredited rabble-rouser were understandable in languages they had never studied. That’s crazy talk. Speaking in other languages. Inconceivable! Those fishermen are so unreliable. These stories will die out very soon.

I assure you we won’t hear about that dead, returned to the dust, rabbi-wanna-be, overrated carpenter ever again. Beside which, everyone knows that nothing good has ever come out of Nazareth.  His followers will shut up and fade away any day now, never to be heard from again.

Update 4/4/21: Comment from last paragraph of the newspaper report:

  • “His execution was swift and merciless, and his disciples have been scattered. Authorities are confident that his name will quickly be forgotten, while Rome, the eternal city, will last forever. “

Rome and its glorious empire, ruling the entirety of the known world? It will last forever.

This carpenter and his crazy talk? Stone cold dead in the ground with his message forgotten in days.


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