From the promo:

Heads they win. Tails you lose.

Forget the rule book, they make the rules

Wannn’a compete. No! You’ll be rejected.

Get the Kronies! They’re Konnected!

Check ’em out at their homepage – thekronies.com

Following are quotes from the nifty cool-o commercial:

A few of the players:

• Kaptain Korn – (aka ethanol)  (Mandated!!)
• Bankor – “Makes money out of moral hazard” – (Inflated!!)
• Ariel Stryker – military hardware constructed in every voting district to maintain stealth capacity in hostile territory of budget cuts (Boondoogled!!)
• Big G – big boss over the other kronies – he holds all the power

Fine print disclaimer: 

Do not attempt to be a real Kronie without sufficient political influence, financial resources, regulatory protection, and a legal staff capable of decoding thousand-page legislation.

The Kronies battle the eeeeevil Entreprenuers. Those are the nasty people…

…out to steal your customers with superior products [at lower prices] and crush your [the Kronies] profit margins with competition.