Hotest new action figures! Kronies! Get ‘em now! You too can pretend to be a Krony Kapitalist!

From the promo:

Heads they win. Tails you lose.

Forget the rule book, they make the rules

Wannn’a compete. No! You’ll be rejected.

Get the Kronies! They’re Konnected!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZDXuPQ9ML9E]

Check ’em out at their homepage – thekronies.com

Following are quotes from the nifty cool-o commercial:

A few of the players:

• Kaptain Korn – (aka ethanol)  (Mandated!!)
• Bankor – “Makes money out of moral hazard” – (Inflated!!)
• Ariel Stryker – military hardware constructed in every voting district to maintain stealth capacity in hostile territory of budget cuts (Boondoogled!!)
• Big G – big boss over the other kronies – he holds all the power

Fine print disclaimer: 

Do not attempt to be a real Kronie without sufficient political influence, financial resources, regulatory protection, and a legal staff capable of decoding thousand-page legislation.

The Kronies battle the eeeeevil Entreprenuers. Those are the nasty people…

…out to steal your customers with superior products [at lower prices] and crush your [the Kronies] profit margins with competition.